感情这件小事,说起来矫情,听多了上头
发布时间: 2018-01-09   来源: 北外网院
关键词: 情感美文 英语学习 北外网院 北外网课 2018春学历招生

 

 

“爱不在于互相凝视,而是一起往同一个方向眺望。”

                                                                                                                          ——安托万·德圣埃克絮佩里

关于感情这件小事,说起来容易矫情,听多了容易上头。

 

Falling in love takes one-fifth of a second看对眼只需1/5秒

It takes a fifth-of-a-second for the euphoria-inducing chemicals to start acting on the brain when you are looking at that special someone.

Brain imaging studies of love suggest that 12 different areas of the brain are involved.

When looking or thinking about a loved one, these areas release a cocktail of neurotransmitters across the brain, including oxytocin, dopamine, vasopressin and adrenaline.

The brain gets a similar ‘hit’ from love as it does from a small dose of cocaine.

当你看到那个独一无二的人时,体内只需1/5秒就会释放一种能引起精神亢奋的化学物质,并对大脑产生作用。

对恋爱时期的大脑图像研究显示其中有12个不同区域都参与活动。在想心爱的人时,这些区域就会在大脑里释放一系列神经递质,包括荷尔蒙,多巴胺,加压素以及肾上腺素。大脑接收到爱的冲击时就如吸食了一小撮可卡因那样兴奋。

Brain map of love and desire产生爱与欲望的大脑图像

The first study to look at the neural difference between love and sexual desire finds remarkable overlaps and distinct differences.

The results showed that some strikingly similar brain networks were activated by love and sexual desire.

The regions activated were those involved in emotion, motivation and higher level thoughts.

This finding suggests that sexual desire is more than just a basic emotion, but involves goal-directed motivation and the recruitment of more advanced thoughts.

Love is built on top of these circuits, with one key area of difference being in the striatum. This area of the brain is typically associated with the balance between higher- and lower-level functions.

第一项关于爱和性欲之间神经活动差别的研究惊人地发现两者区域存在重叠和区别。

研究结果表明一些明显相似的大脑网络都是被爱和性欲所激活的,被激活的区域与感情、动机以及较高层次的思维活动有关。爱建立在这些大脑回路上,但有一个在大脑皮层的重要区域是与众不同的,这块区域惯常被认为是用来协调高级功能与低级功能之间的平衡的。

Kissing helps us choose接吻帮助我们选择

Two new studies of kissing have found that apart from being sexy, kissing also helps people choose partners–and keep them.

In a survey, women in particular rated kissing as important, but more promiscuous members of both sexes rated kissing as a very important way of testing out a new mate.

But kissing isn’t just important at the start of a relationship; it also has a role in maintaining a relationship.

The researchers found a correlation between the amount of kissing that long-term partners did and the quality of their relationship. This link wasn’t seen between more sex and improved relationship satisfaction.

两项关于接吻的新研究发现,除了涉及性,接吻还能帮助人们选择伴侣并留住他们。

一项调查表明,女性将接吻看的尤其重要,但有一些身份更为混杂并由两性共同组成的受访者将接吻看成一种检验新伴侣的重要方式。但接吻并不仅在开始一段恋情时起重要的作用,它在维持感情过程中仍很关键。研究者发现,拥有一段长恋情的情侣接吻的次数与他们感情的质量之间有关联,但此关联并未在性行为更多的情侣和对爱情满意度更高的情侣中体现出来。

Couples look more similar after 25 years together伴侣一起生活25后更有“夫妻相”

People who live with each other for 25 years may develop similar facial features.

One study has found that over 25 years of marriage the facial features of couples became more similar, as judged by independent observers.

This may be because of similarities in diet, environment, personality or even a result of empathising with your partner over the years.

朝夕相处25年的夫妻在面部上可能会慢慢呈现出相似的特征。

一项调查发现,拥有25年以上婚姻的夫妻面部特征会更像,一些没有参与调查研究的人也观察到这一点。这可能是由于长时间在饮食、环境、性格方面的相似,甚至伴侣间的移情也发挥了作用。

Long distance relationships can work异地恋可维持

Contrary to the received wisdom, long distance relationships can work, according to new research.

Two factors that help keep long distance relationships alive are that these couples:

Tell each other more intimate information.

Have a more idealised view of their partner.

As a result, those in long distance relationships often have similar levels of relationship satisfaction and stability as those who are geographically close to each other.

与惯常思维相反,据研究表明,异地恋也可维持。

维持长久的异地恋,夫妻们要做到以下两点:

① 分享给彼此更多亲密的消息

② 把另一半看得更理想化

这样一来,和地理位置较近的情侣相比,异地恋的情侣通常也会有和他们相似水平上的爱情满意度和感情稳定性。

Four things that kill a relationship stone dead四个扼杀感情的行为

For over 40 years the psychologist Professor John Gottman has been analysing relationships, both good and bad.

He’s followed couples across decades in many psychological studies to see what kinds of behaviours predict whether they would stay together.

There are four things that kills relationships stone dead: repeated criticism, lots of expressions of contempt like sarcasm, being defensive and stonewalling, which is when communication almost completely shuts down.

心理学教授约翰·哥特曼研究感情超过40年,研究包括美满的感情和恶化的关系。在许多心理学研究中,他几十年间跟踪夫妻们的活动,为了发现哪些行为能预示他们将来是否还能在一起。

有四件事能将感情断送:反复批评;过多蔑视的表露,诸如讽刺;具有防御性;在交流完全无法进行时,把自己和伴侣阻隔起来。

Modern marriages demand self-fulfilment现代婚姻需要自我满足感

The face of marriage has changed significantly over the years, according to new research.

It used to be more about providing safety and solidity, now people want psychological fulfilment from their marriages.

More than ever people expect marriage to be more of a journey towards self-fulfilment and self-actualisation.

Unfortunately in the face of these demands, couples are not investing sufficient time and effort to achieve this growth.

一项新研究表明,这些年婚姻的面貌已经发生了翻天覆地的变化。这项研究的作者伊莱·芬克尔解释道,过去婚姻更多的是提供安全感,更坚固的支持,现在人们想从婚姻中获得自我满足感。比往常都要多的人期待婚姻更多地是一次可以自我满足和自我实现的旅程。令人失望的是,面对这些需求,夫妻们并没有投入足够的时间和精力来达成自我满足和自我实现。

A simple exercise to save a marriage一个小窍门就可拯救一段婚姻

If your relationship needs a little TLC, then there may be no need to go into therapy–watching a few movies together could do the trick.

A new three-year study finds that divorce rates were more than halved by watching movies about relationships and discussing them afterwards.

The study’s lead author, Ronald Rogge, said:

“The results suggest that husbands and wives have a pretty good sense of what they might be doing right and wrong in their relationships. Thus, you might not need to teach them a whole lot of skills to cut the divorce rate.

You might just need to get them to think about how they are currently behaving. And for five movies to give us a benefit over three years–that is awesome.”

如果你的婚姻需要些温暖的关怀,不一定要特定治疗——只需一起看几部电影就可达到成效。一项进行了三年的新研究发现通过观看情感片并事后讨论影片,离婚率就减少一半以上。这项研究的领衔学者罗纳德·罗格说:”研究结果表明丈夫和妻子能很充分地意识到在婚姻中他们可能做错或做对了什么,因此,你无需去教他们一大堆技巧来降低离婚率。你只需让他们反思他们最近的行为。此外,观看五部电影就能带给我们长达三年的好处,这真是让人惊叹。

The post-divorce relationship离婚后的感情状况

Even after divorce, relationships don’t necessarily end, especially if there are children.

A study of co-parenting post-divorce has found it can go one of five ways, the first three of which are considered relatively functional:

Dissolved duos, where (usually) the father disappears.

Perfect pals, where parents continue to be best friends.

Cooperative colleagues, where couples move on but remain on a good footing with each other.

Angry associates, where the fighting continues after the divorce.

Fiery foes, where children become pawns in the fight and usually suffer as a result.

夫妻的感情即使在离婚后也并不会终止,尤其在有了孩子之后。一项关于履行离婚后共亲职的研究发现,离婚后感情状况会符合下面五种中的一种,而前三种被认为相对而言是可以发挥功能的。

① 夫妻关系完全解除,双亲之一(通常父亲)在子女照料过程中缺席

② 夫妻成为完美搭档,继续保持好朋友的关系

③ 夫妻成为互相合作的同事关系,双方关系继续发展,保持在一个良好的感情基础上

④ 彼此尚有关联但怒气冲冲,离婚后仍争吵不断

⑤ 反目成仇,子女在争吵中被当成人质,最终成为婚姻的受害者

It’s the little things微不足道的小事很重要

Finally, as we live in a highly commercialised world where we’re encouraged to think love can be bought and sold, it’s worth remembering that often it’s the small things that can make a difference.

A recent survey of over 4,000 UK adults found that simple acts of kindness are often appreciated the most.

Bringing your partner a cup of tea in bed, putting the bins out or telling them they look good naked may all do a lot more than a box of chocolates or bunch of flowers (although these won’t hurt!).

最后,尽管我们生活在一个高度商业化的社会里,爱情常被认为可以买卖。值得铭记的是通常一些微不足道的小事却能改变现状。

最近一项以超过4000名英国成年人为调查对象的研究发现最简单的善意之举也通常是人们最欣赏的。为你的伴侣送杯茶,倒次垃圾或夸赞他们很好看。这些会比一盒巧克力或一束花有用得多(当然这些也不错)。

 

 

                           

 

 

 

 

 

 

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